Saturday, August 25, 2007

Sometimes Ya Just Gotta Laugh!

Headline in Ogden Utah's "Standard Examiner":

"Ogden Lutheran church welcomes a new 'pastor'"
"'Pastor' DanaLee Simon was just officially installed as pastor this month"

Bullets [Simon says]:


  • "A newlywed living in Salt Lake City, ... Simon's husband ... is a Catholic.... The two met on an airplane. He was coming home to Salt Lake City and she was headed to the area on a layover. 'It's definitely been a fun story to tell,' Simon said."
    [I'll bet! Gotta love those layovers.]

  • "The two had both a Catholic priest and a Lutheran minister presiding at their wedding. 'Catholics and Lutherans are pretty close,' Simon said."
    [Especially on a layover.]

  • "When she became engaged, she knew she wanted to live in the area. It was soon after that when she found the job opening at Elim. 'It just fell into place pretty organically,' she said. 'Elim was ready to have a pastor just dedicated to them.'"
    [And I was just, like, totally tubular, man.]

  • "Two successes Simon reported were the church''s vacation Bible school and an **energy efficiency project.**"
    [Ah, the sweet success of sharing body heat with those Catholics.]"

  • "'We're also addressing a lot of talk about global warming.'"
    [Of course, those layovers generate a lot of heat.]

  • "Simon said she appreciates [Elim's] tradition of prayer 'It's something the members do better than at any other church I've been to,' she said. 'Prayer is a great starting point. We ask God to be with us in everything we do.'"
    [And we juswanna pray you cease calling yourselves Lutheran.]

http://activepaper.olivesoftware.com/daily/Skins/StandardEx/navigator.asp?skin=StandardEx&BP=OK

10 comments:

anguskohler said...

Help me here. What does "Two successes Simon reported....an **energy efficiency project.**" and "'We're also addressing a lot of talk about global warming.” Have to do with Matt. 28:19––20? Forgiveness of sins? Means of Grace? Also I don't believe that man can effect the climate of God's earth any more than he can earn his way to heaven through works. How presumptuous! Am I apostate? A heretic?

And What kind of a man plays wife, as a pastor must be a husband to one only wife? How do they justify this pastorette and the writings of Paul? How does a pastorette keep her mouth shut in church and ask her husband and still lead a flock? I Corinthians 14:34 We need to teach people What Lutherans really are. These ELCAers and places like the church that has that sign you were talking about earlier in your blog are not Lutheran. Yet they are driving the perception of what Lutherans are.

I read this story and I justwanna barf.

P.S. Remember us in your prayers for tonight we call a new Pastor to our humble congregation.

I. M. Abaldy II said...

Pissing in the river and farting in the forest do indeed change the climate, at least temporarily. Ever drink the water or smell the air after doing so? ;^) So I hesitate to put global warming in the same category as good works and salvation. The means of grace argument you present should seal the deal itself. The Church is here at God's institution to save and nurture souls. It has neither the authority nor the power to save Mother Earth.

I pray you are sent a faithful MAN to shpeherd the flock. And I won't report you for seeking prayer outside the fellowship either.

Anonymous said...

Please refrain from employing the vulgar vernacular of the masses in your blogging.

Your command of high class English is so much more poignant. We look forward to your usual more tasteful choice of words.

Let the Tree-Huggers sound like Rappers; you stand taller.

Your Unpaid Editor said...

TYPO: "shpeherd" S/B shepherd

I. M. Abaldy II said...

Thank you kindly, anonymous. I take your point, and appreciate your concern.

I would submit that a judicious use of the vulgar vernacular is occasionally quite efficacious in articulating the vulgarity of the adulterous behavior rampant within "Christendom's" praxis of the office of the Holy ministry. Likewise, the absurdity of pagan-based, social "ministry" efforts.

In fact in the case of women's ordination, one cannot be TOO vulgar in calling it what it is. Let the (anonymous) reader understand, I actually exercised great restraint in this regard.

Furthermore, a taming of the language in some cases actually serves to lessen the severity and potency of God's Word that "kills and makes alive." For example, the "filthy rags" referenced by Isaiah are actually menstrual cloths. Euphemisms in such cases have fallen short, with a resultant underappreciation of both the magnitude of our sinful condition and the magnanimity of our Lord.

Oh, and I recall Luther's colorful use of the vernacular as well. To wit, his advice when particularly hounded by the fiery darts of the evil one to simply break wind at him and laugh.

Simply put, there are times when one must simply call a thing what it is.

That said, I do not claim perfect discernemnt in this matter, so I beg your forbearance.

Besides, sometimes ya just gotta laugh!

I. M. Abaldy II said...

To my unpaid editor:

I also appreciate your vigilance.

Unfortunately, I have not yet figured out how to edit my own blog comments. I was uanble to correct the the typo you cite when I originally noticed it myself. Likewise the word "discernemnt" [sic] in the previous comment.

Appreciatively yours,
Izzy (Sonny Boy) Abaldy

anguskohler said...

AS I look at the discussion between I.M.abaldy and anonymous it makes me think what type of society we have become and what our society and language is coming to. I think that we are in general becoming a more crass society generally speaking. We have people running for the presidency dropping the F bomb and getting votes while the gentler of us are offended by baldies comments. Things that once were considered extreme are now common place and even demean the horrendous acts that were associated with the verbiage thus the need for Godwin's Law.

Now days most tree huggers participating in a blog regularly violate Godwin's Law through the simple reference to any conservative as a Nazi, thereby demeaning the holocaust and the destruction of so many Jewish lives. As our language has progressed, or digressed depending on your position, the act of adding emphasis or strong language to make one’s point has facilitated the necessity to use crasser and crasser language.

Another example, as a child growing up I would have never heard of a woman being knocked up. That was dirty and just not the way one referred to a woman in a motherly way. Now it is accepted on television!

Passion in blogs also tends to bring out some interesting human nature and the need for Benford's law of controversy. If not using strong language how does one make a point greater than just a passing comment and show passion for a particular subject? From his statements I can tell baldy feels strongly about pastorettes. With use of more civil less gentle language I, as the reader might come to the conclusion that he was not really committed in his distain of pastorettes.

There are also some that find fault with minor details of other participants' message and the use of grammar and language used to make a point. This normally happens only in opinions with which they disagree. Participants in these discussions often end up taking opposite sides in a prescription versus description debate, without realizing it. Thereby using a ad hominem attack to derail a discussion rather than thought out logic to prevail in an argument.

Of all of the blogs that I have ever participated in this is by far the most civil. Thanks to I.M.abaldy and his sensitivity.

an avid fan of this forum said...

'anguskohler' says:
...
"As our language has progress- ed, ... the act of adding ... strong language to make one’s point has facilitated ... the necessity to use crasser and crasser language.
...
There are also some that find fault with minor details of other participants' message(s) and the use of grammar and language used to make a point. This normally happens only in opinions with which they disagree. Participants in these discussions often end up taking opposite sides in a prescription versus description debate, without realizing it. Thereby using a (sic) ad hominem attack to derail a discussion rather than thought out logic to prevail in an argument. ..."
***********************************
WHAT A BROAD SWEEPING BROOM YOU USE, 'ANGUS'. YOU IMPUGN AND SWEEP YOURSELF AWAY. "NECESSITY" (FOR) "CRASSER LANGUAGE", INDEED! "GOODWIN'S LAW" AND YOUR "THOUGHT OUT LOGIC"? GREAT STUFF. THEN, YOUR "AD HOMINEM" PHRASE-- THAT IS A REAL WINNER. HOWEVER, "THE GENTLER ... ARE OFFENDED"-- I MAINTAIN-- IS ONLY YOUR MISTAKEN READING AND RENDER- ING OF THE COMMENTS MADE BY ANONYMOUS.
an avid fan of this forum

I. M. Abaldy II said...

Dear Avid,

I am in receipt of your comment in response to Angus. I'd very much like to publish it because I think you have something valuable to contribute and that you might actually be more in agreement with Angus than is at first apparent -- even in regard to this thread. That you both seem to have a generally favorable take on "Laughing Martin" tells me that you are kindred sprits, so to speak.

Could you please reformat so that it is not in all caps, which is the electronic equivalent of yelling -- unless, of course, you truly mean to yell. In which case I will gladly post it, as is, at your request.

I believe that your intent is not to inflame, but to clarify and perhaps defend "anonymous." If so, it might be helpful also if you fleshed out the bit about his "mistaken reading and rendering" of anonymous.

Please come back and weigh in with your comments again. I enjoy the company and edification, and am sure Angus would as well.

I hope you understand that I am trying to keep things civil and sensitive as much as possible without dismissing vigorous, substantive, and occasionally even rough debate.

Appreciatively yours in Christ,
Izzy

I. M. Abaldy II said...

Having waited for a reply and received none, I publish the Sept. 27 comment from An Avid Fan as is, or, I guess, as was.

The relative merits of occasionally coarse language v. occasional yelling to make a point are now on the table.

Can't we all just get along?

Izzy